Picking at the bloated carcass of geek culture...occasionally!!!

Thank God that’s over

In Video Games on December 30, 2009 at 4:10 am

Well, I saw Avatar over the holiday weekend.  I have a lot to say about it and was looking forward to jump starting the whole blog with a snarky, sarcastic few days of poking fun at the latest work of Entourage Aquaman directing Jimmy Cameron.  That was the plan…but I got Assassin’s Creed II for Christmas and I decided to play around with that for a while.  Fast forward to me avoiding human contact, shunning showers, skipping meals, and putting off going to the bathroom so I could continue playing.  Avatar can wait, because I am coming off a video game bender.

I liked the first Assassin’s Creed alright.  It looked great and the gameplay of running all over the city was fantastic.  It suffered from repetitive design, however, with the protagonist basically doing the same boring sequences over and over until you beat the game.  Assassin’s Creed II basically fixed all the problems, added tons of layers of fun, expanded the world, explored the metastory in much greater detail, and added the weirdest mindfucking sidequest I have ever imagined.  Combine DaVinci Code conspiracy theory with alien invasions with those creepy Myst books and you’re on the right track.  I had no idea where the story was going but I was definitely along for the ride.

And there is the problem.  At one point, I really wanted to get off the ride.  The game is ridiculously fun but I have a life, you know?  I not only have things I want to do, but things I need to do.  Assassin’s Creed was hearing none of that.  It would not let me really do much of anything until I finished it.  That includes the Daily Scott Brown, which may explain why I’m up at 3:00 AM typing away.  So I said that I would finish it today, and get my life back.  But again, the game wasn’t listening.  Each gorgeous, imaginative level opened up to another one.  And just when I thought it was winding down, a whole freaking another storyline started.  And when I finished that, I saw the credits come up…and I knew I could finally take a break.

The only thing that got assassinated was my showering schedule, my desire to leave the house, and the health of my marriage. Thanks Ubisoft.

And then, it kept going.

I shit you negative, you are in control of an action fight scene that takes place over the credits.  I swear, there are words scrolling down the right side of the screen while you assassinize a team of dudes who have come to take you out.  Innovative game design, yes, but I swear…tears started welling up in my eyes and I was choking back sobs when I realized I had to keep going.

Of course, I could have always just turned it off…but it honestly didn’t feel like an option the last couple days.  But it’s okay now because I’m done.

Yup, all done.

Then again…I didn’t collect all the hidden items yet…

  1. Welcome back. I put up a review of Avatar on my thingee, I’ll be interested to hear your thoughts on the film. Also, do not talk about Assassin’s Creed 2 anymore or I will be forced to buy it and I have stuff to do. Also, also, I’m loving the Abercrombie First Law series…. great stuff.

  2. I’m curious: is this a FUN game or a merely addictive game? For instance, Super Mario world was a game I loved every minute of from beginning to end. On the other hand, the last Halo was a game I didn’t particularly want to play, but couldn’t stop playing without it gnawing a whole in my brain. The second I finished it I turned around and said “whew. thank goodness that’s over. Now I can stop playing it.”

  3. I think that was just because somewhere, deep inside you, you knew that I was much, much better at Halo then you, that’s what I think.

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